interview by darby o'gill

This month I got to sit down with the weakest link (also known as GEORGE GRAY).

Darby: What's your Halloween costume this year?

George: I'm tempted to go as Anne Robinson.

D: Candy corn or candy apple?

G: John Candy. Not as tasty, but a whole lot funnier.

D: Rodeo clowns, party clowns, or mimes?

G: I'd have to pick rodeo clowns. Those bastards are tough as nails, and work for no money. Party clowns scare me, and mimes make me want to hurt something. If you haven't already, watch Shakes the Clown.

D: Sideshow Bob or Sideshow Mel?

G: Definitely Sideshow Bob. He is completely deranged.

D: Do dogs have lips?

G: You are a pervert. Next question.

D: Michael Myers or Mike Myers?

G: Mike Myers is a freakin' genius.

D: Hawaiian Punch or just plain punch?

G: I don't believe in any kind of violence, regardless of whether Samoans are involved or not.

D: Trick or Treat?

G: Sometimes a trick can be a treat. (Especially in Amsterdam.)

D: You recently got an Amphi-Car, a car that can travel on both land and sea. What CD is in your Amphi-Car right now?

G: My Amphi-Car (Maxwell Smart had one) has the finest in cutting-edge 1962 technology a car can offer.

D: What's your favorite scary movie?

G: Anything where Barbra Streisand plays a beautiful woman.