This month I got to sit down with comedian Robert Schimmel and his girlfriend Melissa, who couldn't help but correct Robert's answers.
darby: What's next for Robert Schimmel?
Robert: A one-man show.
d: Read the book or see the movie?
R: It all depends on what movie or book it is. Would I want to read the book for Collateral Damage? No!
d: I didn't even want to see the movie. The Muppet Show or Sesame Street?
R: Sesame Street.
Melissa: I can't believe you picked Sesame Street.
M: I was trying to mentally tell you to pick the Muppets, because that was my favorite.
R: He's not interviewing you.
d: Why Sesame Street?
R: Sesame Street had the Dracula guy on it.
M: But the Muppets have the chef that you can't understand. That was great.
R: Okay. When he interviews you, you can pick that.
d: Cats or dogs?
R: Dogs. I'm allergic to cats.
d: Do dogs have lips?
M: They do?
R: Well, it's not just gums; otherwise it would just be teeth showing.
M: But dogs don't have lips like,..I mean, these are lips. (pointing to her lips)
R: Those are human lips.
M: Well, yeah. But dogs don't have lips like that. It's just--
R: Okay! What am I, a fucking zoologist?
d: George Burns or Montgomery Burns?
R: George Burns.
d: Are you the Gatekeeper?
R: I don't know what that means.
M: That's because you're not the Gatekeeper. That's why you don't know what that means.
R: Who would want to keep a gate?
M: It's from Ghostbusters!
R: Oh. From Ghostbusters. You guys have too much time on your hands.
d: Star Wars or Star Trek?
R: I grew up on Star Trek.
d: What CD is in your car right now?
R: What's his name? Jaba-waba?
M: Jamiroquai. Jaba-waba? That's not even close!
R: I listen to it. I don't read it.
d: What's your favorite movie of all-time?