MOSCOW, RUSSIA - Rumors have been circulating that the USSR may be getting back together. Some of the former members have said they want to relive the good old days, but a few are just in it for the money.

But not all of the USSR members are so eager to reunite. Ukraine is currently enjoying a semi-successful solo career, and has little desire to get back together.

Ukraine stated, "It was great while it lasted. We were the shit at the height of the Cold War, but that is in the past. I don't think we can regain the success we once had."

Russia responded, "Ukraine is a little bitch. We all know it's about money. We may tap in East Germany as a replacement if need be."