interview by darby o'gill

This month I chat with the witty Harland Williams of Rocket Man, Half Baked and There's Something About Mary fame. Harland cuts through the bullshit, and tells it like it is.

darby: What's next for Harland Williams?

Harland: I just finished a film called Sorority Boys for Touchstone. It'll be out this spring.

d: Bubble gum or Bubble Yum?

H: Bubble butt. Definitely.

d: George Burns or Montgomery Burns?

H: Sideburns, growing on my ass.

d: Cats or dogs?

H: Ah,..boy, oh boy. Pussy.

d: Clean air or clean water?

H: Clean underpants, for once. That's all I ask.

d: Do dogs have lips?

H: Hell, yeah!

d: Do hot dogs have lips?

H: Hot dogs are made of lips. And assholes.

d: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop?

H: Well, I started one back in 1973 and It's still going. Right now I'm at 3,000,002,027. No, wait! 3,000,002,028! I'm not there yet, but I'm close.

d: What CD is in your car right now?

H: Let's see. The soundtrack to Get Carter.

d: Favorite movie of all-time?

H: Powder. It's got to be Powder. I just love bald albinos locked in a basement. That's what it's all about.

d: Is that what does it for you?

H: Yeah. I mean, who doesn't it do it for? You know?