My fellow American'ts,

Is it me, or did I write something like this last year? I swear I did. Come to think of it, didn't I write something like this at this exact same time for the last three years?!? What in sam hill is going on?!? Is this Groundhog Day?!? Am I doomed to repeat the same 365 days every year, kinda like Bill Murray did in that movie? Am I Bill Murray?!? Where are my Angels? And where’s Elwood?

Wait,.. I wasn't in that.

Look, whoever is doing this, just stop it! I'm warning you. I will not be bullied by some tea-cozy-wearing terrorist. As soon as I can get to a map, I'm going to find a country, assume you're hiding out there, and send half of America's youth over there to teach you a lesson. I'll make you cry for mercy, like I did that pesky hedgehog who kept interrupting Daddy's golf buddies. Nobody-- and I mean nobody-- pushes Bill Murray around and gets away with it!

Here’s to another four years together,

- Dubya

dubya@tlchicken.com