TENACIOUS D'S KYLE GASS
interview by darby o'gill
illustration by debbie

ON THE 6TH HOUR, OF THE 6TH DAY, OF THE 6TH MONTH, SATAN FORGED A BAND, THE LIKES OF WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN. HE NAMED THEM TENACIOUS D. OUR VERY OWN DARBY O'GILL HAD A CHANCE TO SIT DOWN AND HAVE A LITTLE ONE-ON-ONE WITH THE D'S VERY OWN KYLE GASS.

darby: Thanks for taking some time to talk with us, Kage.

Kage: It's my pleasure, darby. Bring on the questions!

d: How hard is it to rock people's socks off every night?

KG: Well, it's a challenge. We've been doing it for a while, so I feel pretty adept, you know. I feel like we can do it. But the crowd needs to be a willing participant.

d: If you were a superhero, what would your powers be?

KG: My power would be to eat large, large quantities of food, and to be able to shit it out, without gaining or loosing any calories.

d: What would your costume look like?

KG: It would have a hole near my asshole, so I wouldn't have to take it off to shit.

d: How many times have you quit the band now?

KG: Well, I find that I quit almost every show, and sometimes even in-between shows.

d: In-between? Just to brake-up the cycle?

KG: Sometimes I just need to get away from Jack and his whole diva fucking bullshit.

d: Where do you guys get your inspirata?

KG: Well, we used to smoke pot, but now we do less of that. Now we just use whatever enters our brains. I think it's all possible: a magazine article; a piece of lint on the floor; someone says something weird; you overhear a conversation. It's all fair game. It's just up to the artist to reach some sort of universal truth which, I think, we've been able to do in the past; or tickle their eardrums in vain.

d: How long did it take to pick out your shirt for tonight?

KG: It didn't take me long because I'm almost out of laundry. I'm not a big believer in clothes. I try to keep it simple.

d: Did they ever try and talk you into the Spider-Man outfits you guys use in your show?

KG: No, dude! You think Spider-Man's going to let me use his outfit? No way, dude! I wouldn't get near that!

d: Give me the breakdown of a Backstage Betty.

KG: For them to enter our world? I don't know. We did an open mic last night.

d: Really? Where did you play?

KG: At a place called Ruby Tuesday, up on Summit Avenue.

d: I've been there. We had our Name-Change Bash there last year.

KG: It's a nice place. You missed it. Everyone missed it. We played a few songs, and Jack went up for an encore of “Footloose”. What was the question again?

d: You mean the next question?

KG: No, the Backstage Betty question. That was a good one. They need to have a number of things: the right equipment, a sparkling personality and some gnarly weed. But definitely, definitely no sausage!

d: In your professional opinion, do dogs have lips?

KG: No, I don't think so. I think they have more of a sort of jowly thing.

d: What is the message of the D?

KG: In the spirit of “The Cosmic Shame”, quit your day job, unless we say to stop your artistic pursuits because they’re not working. It's a tough job, but we've taken it upon ourselves. If any of you feel you want to follow your mojo, your creative insperata, do it. But be sure to check with us after you've tried it.

d: Do you really want us to check in with you?

KG: No. Jack handles all that.

d: Do you fear that the new record deal and playing arenas will go to your heads?

KG: Well, it's too late for that. It went to my head as soon as someone said we were good. I was like, "What!? Wait, I'm awesome!" Jackie Gleason once said that, "Vanity is the performer’s armor." It protects you.

d: What's next for the D? World domination?

KG: We've almost achieved world domination, but we would like to get our motion picture in shape next year. We would also like to do another album and play another tour, but just really get the nooks and crannies. We find that the smaller the town, the more the people respond and care. They really appreciate you coming out there.

d: Does Jack's acting career get in the way of that sometimes?

KG: Absolutely! No, I mean we're both actors. Jack's doing really well. He's a big movie star, but he throws me some parts. I still do television, like Undeclared. We both have stuff going on. It’s really all a commutation.

d: Which way do you tend to lean: more toward the music or the acting?

KG: I never wanted to lean. I always felt like it was all the same thing: the singing; the acting. It’s all a part of showbiz.

d: Which do you enjoy more: performing on stage or in front of the camera?

KG: It's like apples and oranges. Although it's pretty damn exciting playing in front of a crowded arena.

d: The show you guys did in Cleveland was great! The crowd was on fire.

KG: Yeah, that was a great show. Cleveland is a great town.

d: Well, Kage, that brings me to my final question of the night. When you finally reach the fiery gates of hell, what would you like to hear the Master say?

KG: That's a terminus question. (pauses, thinking) No shitting on the bus.

VISIT THE D AT TENACIOUSD.COM