KISS ME, I'M IRISH! FUCK YOU, YOU'RE NOT!
reporting by darby o'gill
illustration by debbie

Well, it’s that time of the year again. Good old St. Patrick’s Day. In the past we’ve talked about mysteries of corn beef & cabbage, and the Irish’s favorite past time: drinking. This year, let’s talk about the day itself. This is our day. When I say “our,” I mean Irish folk. When did it become a day for everyone? Our holiday is the only one this applies to. It’s not like on Yom Kippur people go around screaming, “Kiss me, I’m Jewish!” I know this seems a little over the top, but it’s really not. Nobody even knows why we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, but I’m not going to tell you here. Like our very own vinnie says, “ Look it up.” I know it’s too late to change things now, but I have a job where I can let out this built up Irish frustration. Don’t let my words get you down, you can still put on those green corduroys, down a few pints of Guinness, and wear your “Kiss Me I’m Irish” button. Just remember, Chung Pow, it doesn’t make you Irish!